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View Full Version : What to make of this...


Lunacii
10-04-2010, 02:06 AM
I'm here to hopefully gain some insight into my situation and get some outside opinions. I'm searching for answers and this just feels like a step in the right direction. =) Now I'll explain further my situation.


About 13 years ago I began practicing Wicca. I was 13. I took it very seriously. It wasn't a game to me, nor was it all about "Ooo what kind of cool stuff can I do??" I felt drawn to it then.

Often times I would have this recurring dream. I would be visiting a wicca shop and there would be a middle aged woman running the store. And she would always welcome me and say hello. Always friendly. The dream would always start out as some bizarre just random dreaming, and somewhere in the middle of the dream I would get this urge to go find this store. It always had the same door. The door itself looked like it was carved from a huge tree. (I don't know if this is important or not but hey, detail can't hurt lol) and the store would always be in different places but it always stayed the same. But anyways, the last time I dreamed of this shop, it felt different. And the woman came up to me as I was shopping like I normally did, and said to me "This is not the right path for you..." and before I could talk to her I woke up. Now I should mention these dreams always felt real. They did not feel like dreams. I could smell, touch, taste.. everything in the store. I felt like I was there. I've learned these types of dreams shouldn't be ignored.

After that dream I gave up Wicca and went off on many other paths. I believe i've finally found the right one now but over the years I often have this urge to go back to Wicca. I attempted to once about 5 years ago but when I started it just didn't feel right. Now I'm finding myself drawn to it yet again. There is something missing in my life. Why I often have these urges to go back to Wicca is beyond me. I don't quite understand it and I don't know what to do with it.

I also find myself very drawn to the moon. It could be my zodiac and the fact that the moon rules cancer.

These are all the details I can think to add right now. If anyone has any comments, thoughts, opinions or questions.. by all means i'm here just to explore all this again. =)

I should also mention my great grandmother apparently did what the family called "white magick".. I don't know what kind of impact that might have on all this. Just adding more details!

Edit* My grandmother did white magick but she also worked with herbs a lot. I myself am drawn to plants and nature, but herbs specifically.

Gwenyfur
10-05-2010, 12:55 AM
What path within wicca were you following?
Gardenerian?
Egyptian?
Celtic?
Ecclectic?
Coven based or Solitary?

Could it be she meant the current path of study and not Wicca as a whole?

Lunacii
10-05-2010, 02:32 AM
You know more and more i've been thinking that very thing. I was following a solitary path. It would make sense seeing as how I find myself drawn to wicca so strongly, but practicing solitary always feels so wrong. Maybe there's another path within wicca i'm supposed to be on... I never thought too much about that before. I always thought if I was going to practice wicca there was only one way to do it. =)

Gwenyfur
10-05-2010, 03:16 AM
Meditate on it, see if you "direct" your dreaming to find this store again and the woman within.
Never hurts to plain ask her ;)

Blessed Be

Lunacii
10-05-2010, 10:25 AM
heh yeah I've tried that on more than one occasion.. I can't seem to find her again. But I think my next step now is to explore the different aspects of wicca =) So thank you very much for your input! It's helped tremendously!

Satyr
10-05-2010, 12:07 PM
Maybe you need to consider paths that are pagan but not necessarily wiccan.

Lunacii
10-05-2010, 12:57 PM
oh, that's something i'd never considered either =)

Lunacii
10-08-2010, 03:18 AM
I just discovered something that may have been why the woman in my dreams was telling me I was on the wrong path.

I was exclusively following Silver Ravenwolf's teachings. After reading several articles pertaining to her works, I understand why so many wiccans have abandoned her teachings. I will post references here.

http://www.ecauldron.net/opedtarnishedsilver.php

http://wicca.timerift.net/ravenwolf.shtml

http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/vanthal/608/id57.htm

and at the time I believe now that I was on the path to becoming a very closed minded fanatical wiccan with no tolerance for other religions. Not so much I didn't accept people following them, but at the time, also being a very influencable teen, she wrote and made me believe that wicca was about being better than the other religions.

I can see how her writings were breeding intolerance. Even within myself. I believe that is why it felt so wrong going down that path. The second time I attempted wicca I also bought another one of her books and began again, following her.

Gwenyfur
10-08-2010, 03:59 AM
Try
Scott Cunningham
Yasmine Galenorn
Christopher Penczak
Kerr Cuhulain

Those are a few I've found to be helpful adn open...

I do like silver ravenwolf as a 101 source..she does impart some very good techniques...but agreed...her dogma is a bit...closed...at times...