Army jokes..please dont take offense

[Aireth Gemtis]

An Lt was transferred to a new unit. After getting settled into his new office, the Lt was sitting at his desk, arranging things, when a private knocked on his door. Not wanting to look useless, he picked up the phone, and said "Enter" He motioned for the private to wait, and said into the phone "Yes Colonel, yes sir, yes sir, I’ll get those documents to you as soon as possible. Yes Sir, have a good day, sir."

After hanging up, he looked impatiently at the private, "yes, what do you want?"

The private sheepishly answered: "Well sir, I’m here to install the phone line for you, sir!"

[Aireth Gemtis]

Three generals, an American, a British, and a Canadian, are sitting in their mess, bragging about the courage of their troops.

The American General says: "My troops are the most courageous of them all." He pokes his head out the window "Sargent! Stand in front of that corporal there, and he’ll shoot you" The sargent snaps to attention, salutes, and BANG! he’s dead.

The British general is impressed, but not to be out done, he sticks his head out of the mess. "Private! lie down in the middle of the road, and the lieutenat there will run over you with his tank!" The private, given a direct order, lies down, and without flinching, gets squished by the tank.

The Canadian general, looking impressed, sticks his head out and looks around. He sees a lineman on top of a 120 foot power pylon. "Corporal! Jump off the pylon". The corporal looks at the ground, looks back at the general:

"Fuck you sir!"

[Aireth Gemtis]

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at and Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out." As the rest of the squad wandered away, one sodier remainedc at attention. The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was alot of ’em, huh, sir?"

[Aireth Gemtis]

If you ever wanted to know what ARMY stands for well here it is




(Aint
Real
Marines
Yet)

[Aireth Gemtis]

Once there were three men hiding from the Russians. One was an american,another was a Japanese man,and the last one was an Indian. the Japanese man went out to face the Russians and yelled,"Tornado!" and escaped. the Indian man came out and yelled,"Lightning!"and was able to escape. tThe american man came out nextand was trying to think of one that the others haven’t said,so he yells,"Fire,"and dies.

[Silverm00n]

lol :signthankspin:

[Sneux]

OMG those are the funniest